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RCA Peer Reviews- 2 Submitted Towards Others

Nicole Gelfman
Author Reviewed: Blandine Simprevil

Researched Critical Analysis Essay Peer Review #2

First Impressions
Does the title attract your attention? Why/why not? Does it clearly identify the author’s purpose and stance? Why/why not? Suggest at least one improvement in word choice or phrasing, or an alternative title.

The title attracts my attention because it’s an interesting thesis to state. It identifies the author’s purpose and stance by describing the TV show, Dexter, and its interesting theme of positive corruption- in other words, I’m assuming corruption in a positive light. I think the title is great and doesn’t need to adjust.

What type of introduction is this? (Narrative, Expository, etc…) Name two things you enjoyed and two areas for improvement.

It’s a combination of both expository and narrative writing because it introduces a common way of how we think serial killers are, but then introduces facts to disprove this assumption since this description is not accurate in Dexter. I like how unexpected and attention-grabbing the introduction was, however, there needs to be more details specific to the show. Her thesis is too far away from the introduction, and I didn’t know exactly what she was arguing.

Is there enough background information presented in the introduction? Is there any additional information needed to clarify the context of the primary source or the author’s thesis?

I don’t think there is enough background information in the introduction directly concerning her thesis and the show, Dexter. There needs to be more information to clarify the context of the primary source or the author’s thesis because it is difficult to tell what she is arguing.

Is there a clear thesis statement? What is it and where is it located? Can it be argued from supporting or opposing sides?

There is a clear thesis statement after the introduction. It can be argued heavily from both sides.

Arrangement
Are there enough claims to fully support the thesis and convince readers that the argument is logical and valid? What other claims might the author make to strengthen their argument?

Yes, I do think there are enough claims. I would include more examples on how Dexter’s actions are in good intention, and what the authorities think of it and how he is condemned/supported. Additionally, the intersectionality of the time frame, society, law enforcement, etc…

Does the arrangement of claims flow in a logical and persuasive manner? Describe the progression of ideas.

It flows in a logical manner. It begins by introducing the thesis, then a large amount of background information on why Dexter acts the way he does, and then she begins to argue her thesis statement, which is to portray how Dexter introduces another way of viewing stereotypical serial killers in modern society.

Is every claim clearly and fully explained? Are there any areas where you were confused? What additional explanations or phrasing would improve clarity and comprehension for the reader?

It was fully and clearly explained; however, the language does confuse me at some points. I would further elaborate in each paragraph as to how it relates to your thesis statement/argument.

Are there any paragraphs or sections that need to be moved to different locations? Which ones and where should they be placed?

I think everything is placed correctly and logically.

Does the writer successfully transition throughout each paragraph? Are there any transitional words or phrases that are overused? Suggest at least one additional phrase they can use.

The writer does successful transition throughout each paragraph. She introduces the next concept in the next paragraph that was left in the precious paragraph. When introducing different ideas, I would ease into it with brief explanation as to why you are introducing that idea, rather than jumping straight into it.

Does the writer transition successfully from paragraph to paragraph? Are there topic sentences strong and clearly linked to the focus of each paragraph?

Yes, this all meets the criteria.

Research
Is each claim fully supported with proof from the primary source? Are there any claims which require more evidence?

There are claims with direct quotes from the show. Some evidence I would include would be how society views Dexter and how he plays into law enforcement.

Is there enough supporting data from outside sources for each major claim? What kind of data do they use?

Yes, there is. She uses not only direct quotes from the show itself, but also from papers that heavily analyze the show and Dexter’s image as a ‘serial killer.’

Is the supporting data fully explained and clearly linked back to the author’s claim and/or thesis? Where do they need to clarify or explain further?

Not everything is linked back to the thesis. If a new idea is being presented, or even in the introduction of the background information, I would like to know why each detail is being used for the thesis.

Is any data/information missing, or interpreted in a way that seems confusing or incorrect?

Some is confusing because I don’t really understand how it relates to the thesis for the show. The evidence is good, just make sure to link it back to your argument.

Is every quote, statistic, or image properly labeled and cited using MLA format?

Yes.

Counterarguments
How does the author engage with counterarguments? Are they embedded into each paragraph or is there a separate section that only deals with counterarguments (Refutio)

No counterargument present yet.

Do the author’s rebuttals seem logical and persuasive? Why/why not? Suggest another idea for a counterargument(s) that the author might employ.

No counterargument present yet.

In Conclusion
Is the conclusion clear and impactful? Why/Why not? Does it reinforce the thesis and major claims in their argument?

No conclusion present yet.

Are you convinced by the conclusion? Why or why not? What else did you want to know?

No conclusion present yet.

What is the writer’s overall tone and how do they achieve this? Is the tone consistent throughout the essay?

The tone is very detailed and has very strong intellectual language. It is consistent throughout the essay.

What did you enjoy most about reading this essay? Name at least two aspects.

I enjoyed how different and unique the perspective is on this essay. Dexter in itself is an interesting character in the show, and challenges a lot of the common beliefs most of society has on serial killers. This topic is really different and I’m excited to see how much further she develops this.

Where should the writer focus most to improve their work? Name two areas.

1. Linking her ideas back to her thesis.
2. Making the thesis clearer within the introduction and the arguments she makes later on in her essay.

 

Author Reviewed: Kelyn Morales

 

Researched Critical Analysis Essay Peer Review #2

 

First Impressions

Does the title attract your attention? Why/why not? Does it clearly identify the author’s purpose and stance? Why/why not? Suggest at least one improvement in word choice or phrasing, or an alternative title.

 

The title does attract my attention because it proposes an interesting point of view and wordplay on the show, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. It clearly identifies the author’s purpose and stance, where she believes it isn’t so positive. An alternative title could include the radical feminism within the show that she heavily accents throughout her essay.

 

What type of introduction is this? (Narrative, Expository, etc…) Name two things you enjoyed and two areas for improvement.

 

It’s an informational and narrative introduction, seeing that she discusses the characters within the show and how they relate to feminism and other political ideologies. One thing I enjoyed is how thorough she explained each character and his/her/ beliefs. Another thing I enjoyed is how clear she made her thesis at the beginning of the essay. One area of improvement is her grammar, as there are multiple different mistakes. Another is to watch out for repetition, as she constantly states how Sabrina struggles between chooses the witch or human world. It makes it unclear as to what her incentive is, and I struggle to understand whether she discusses the feminism or identity aspect of the show.

 

Is there enough background information presented in the introduction? Is there any additional information needed to clarify the context of the primary source or the author’s thesis?

 

There is a sufficient amount of background information within her introduction, and the only additional information needed would be her clarity of statements.

 

Is there a clear thesis statement? What is it and where is it located? Can it be argued from supporting or opposing sides?

 

There is a clear thesis statement presented at the beginning of the essay. It can be argued from both sides.

 

Arrangement

Are there enough claims to fully support the thesis and convince readers that the argument is logical and valid? What other claims might the author make to strengthen their argument?

 

I believe there are enough claims, but a couple more couldn’t hurt. I was personally convinced of her argument because it was logical and valid through her descriptions of what happens in the show, and other articles that discuss radical feminism. I would include more about the intersectionality of feminism, the time frame, and why she believes this to be a form of radical feminism.

 

Does the arrangement of claims flow in a logical and persuasive manner? Describe the progression of ideas.

 

Yes, the arrangement of claims does flow in a logical and persuasive manner. She begins by introducing certain events within the show that exhibit ideas of radical feminism, then by introducing the counterclaim and rebuttal, and then other articles that have also analyzed the show in the same light.

 

Is every claim clearly and fully explained? Are there any areas where you were confused? What additional explanations or phrasing would improve clarity and comprehension for the reader?

 

I think every claim is clearly and fully explained, and I wasn’t confused about anything. Some grammar within the explanations and examples/phrasing need to be fixed for the clarity. Otherwise, her argument is very present and fluid.

Are there any paragraphs or sections that need to be moved to different locations? Which ones and where should they be placed?

 

I don’t think anything needs to be moved, because all of the claims are put in logical order.

 

Does the writer successfully transition throughout each paragraph? Are there any transitional words or phrases that are overused? Suggest at least one additional phrase they can use.

 

I think the writer has successful transitions, because the flow of the essay is very easy to follow. Nothing is overused. I don’t think any suggestions are necessary.

 

Does the writer transition successfully from paragraph to paragraph?  Are there topic sentences strong and clearly linked to the focus of each paragraph?

 

Yes, the writer does transition successfully from paragraph to paragraph. The topic sentences are strong and clearly linked to the focus of the paragraph. This is very easy to follow.

 

Research

Is each claim fully supported with proof from the primary source?  Are there any claims which require more evidence? 

 

Each claim is supported. The essay begins with evidence from the primary source itself to further develop her ideas when introducing the articles that agree with her point of view. I believe she could’ve introduced another example of how patriarchal the principle was, and another general example of how it’s radicalized feminism with further analysis.

 

Is there enough supporting data from outside sources for each major claim? What kind of data do they use?

 

I think she includes one strong article, however there could have been more sources. The article states how radical feminism is romanticized and shown in a comedic light instead of something serious.

 

Is the supporting data fully explained and clearly linked back to the author’s claim and/or thesis?  Where do they need to clarify or explain further?

 

Yes, the data is fully explained and clearly linked back to the author’s claim that this show portrays feminism in an aesthetic view and not like something that should be taken seriously. I would add more quotes from the article to help support this point of view.

 

Is any data/information missing, or interpreted in a way that seems confusing or incorrect?

 

I think the data/information is clearly shown and is not confusing or incorrect.

 

Is every quote, statistic, or image properly labeled and cited using MLA format?

 

Yes, every quote is properly labeled and cited using MLA format.

 

Counterarguments

How does the author engage with counterarguments?  Are they embedded into each paragraph or is there a separate section that only deals with counterarguments.

 

The author includes one separate paragraph with her counterargument.

 

Do the author’s rebuttals seem logical and persuasive?  Why/why not?  Suggest another idea for a counterargument(s) that the author might employ.

 

It does, but it lacks sufficient evidence. She states how it is more physical and radical than normal and stable, but I would simply include another small example to support this statement.

 

In Conclusion

Is the conclusion clear and impactful?  Why/Why not?  Does it reinforce the thesis and major claims in their argument?

 

The conclusion is clear and impactful because it states her final argument as to how poorly feminism is portrayed in this show. Hence, it does reinforce the major claims and main thesis statement in her argument.

 

Are you convinced by the conclusion?  Why or why not?  What else did you want to know?

 

I feel as though the conclusion only included a tiny piece of her argument instead of it as a whole. It needs more developing as to why this is not good and why the show has radical feminism.

 

What is the writer’s overall tone and how do they achieve this?  Is the tone consistent throughout the essay?

 

The writers tone is head strong and persuasive. She does so by including many examples of how the show shows radical feminism. I believe it is consistent.

 

What did you enjoy most about reading this essay? Name at least two aspects.

 

I enjoyed the interesting perspective this gave me, and the critique of how feminism is not always shown in a good light. It was a refreshing perspective.

 

Where should the writer focus most to improve their work? Name two areas.

 

1.     Grammar

2.     Elaboration of her thesis and evidence.